Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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(316): View more from Kansas

You love me.

(785): View more from Kansas

That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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(970): View more from Colorado

She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before

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(775): View more from Nevada

She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

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(585): View more from New York

Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled

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