I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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