He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
