I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
