Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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