My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
