I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
