I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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