Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
