they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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