she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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