Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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