Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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