dude i'm inner monologue high
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
