So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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