so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
COCAINE IS GR8
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
