Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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