butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
