The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
