You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How does it feel to date your dad?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
