Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
