Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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