I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
