It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
