I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
