After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
