In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
