he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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