hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
