Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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