His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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