Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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