So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
