Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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