the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
