Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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