were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
