We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
