i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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