Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
