I'm lost and stupid without you.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
