im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
