I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
