He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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