I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize