we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
