i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
