Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
