Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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