why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
