i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
