When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
