My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
