All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize