you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
