I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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