You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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