similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
