Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So here I am, sexting at work.
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