Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The air was thick with penises
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
